Hyderabad

The first sign of the minority Muslim situation in Hyderabad, was this little gem of a slogan, courtesy of the great Mahathma Gandhi.

After a tiring night train, we decided to have an easy Sunday afternoon and visit the zoo. Jason wanted to try his facial expressions on the chimps, but it was a little too hot for them in the midday sun.

The zoos star attraction was us! We were mobbed at every cage with the usual, "What is your name.... Where are you from... One photo."

We ended up posing for some 20 odd photos, and probably shook 100 hands in the 2-3 hours we were followed around the zoo. If this counts as our "15 minutes of fame" we want our money back. It was excellent.

For the evening, we went to Lumbini park to see the Buddha statue erected on an island in Hussain Sagar. The rumour has it, as this was not published on the sign, that the statue spent a few years on the bottom of the lake after the barge sunk on the way over, killing 8 workers.

A short boat ride, with some very self important ushers, resulted in a minor boat crash that threatened to leave us on the river bottom. Did we mention the constant stares from the other punters?

As with any local tourist attraction, we were expected to be available for at least one photo every 5 minutes. This bloke is from the Indian state of Nagaland, over by the Burmese border. They don't get too many "whites" over there, as they blow up their own train station too often, in the struggle for independence. It will take a while before tourism takes-off.

We are pretty sure that badminton is hot work in burkhas, and we think that judging from the one shot rallies, it must be pretty hard to see out through that slit.

The one shot badminton was followed by the wet-burkha contest where Claire and Jason would argue over who might be the sauciest chick at the park, based on her eye colour and how much rice she had eaten.

Next on the agenda was the see-saw breaking contest. At the peak of this contest 10 grown men were simultaneously smashing a see-saw up and down, teaching the kids how to really ride the park.

The following day we were ready for some "real" sight-seeing. We went to Golconda Fort where the last Nizam was captured by Aurangzeb for failing to pay his "protection money." The siege lasted 8 months due to excellent fortification and tunnels. The fort was only taken via a bribe to a guard, and we are pleased to say that the culture of bribes and protection money are alive and kicking in India today.

In the 300 plus years since the forts capture, the only maintenance has been done by the local kids via graffiti, litter and additions to their memory bank of scenic places they've crapped.

The building at the top is the durbar hall where the king would accept audience. It is also the place where Jason had to threaten our quickly fired guide, with the short way down if he didn't make himself scarce. He was worse than useless and in that typically Indian way insisted that he knew best on what we wanted to see, how we wanted to see it, and where to take photos.

The joys of being a Muslim minority manifest itself in many ways. This pile of dead bird is hanging from a tree outside the Hindu Kali Temple within the Muslim Golconda Fort.

Most of the locals were very friendly. These guys were lifting weeds out of a sewerage infested pond, but still found the time to yell "Hello" at the weirdo whites walking through their town.

The Tombs of the Qutb Shahi Kings, were some fairly impressive monuments to the Muslim rulers of the Deccan Plateau.

Now the tombs are used for the two deadly sins of graffiti and (don't tell anyone) courting / dating. The whole complex was full of men sneaking around with Burkha clad women. Other social evils like arranging your own marriages would not be put up with if the Taliban gets a foothold in India.

One women even said, "Hello" to Claire rather than crossing the road in this rampantly liberal part of town.

After reading a few snippets of investigative journalism, we decided to go looking for the lost palaces of Hyderabad.

This one is the Falaknuma Palace and it is hotly contested property. The competitors are the last Prince, and the Taj Group (who like to assault their punters at New Years Eve Parties.)

So the story goes....the Taj claim the Prince sold it to them, and the prince, who now resides in Australia, and looked very "stoned" in a 60's photo, might of forgotten selling it. As we snuck up the hill Jason had to wake the guards dogs up and yell at the security guards before anyone would really take an interest in our trespass. Claire was cacking herself at the police, but they were easily convinced by Jason's lost tourist stories; and by the time we were escorted out, we had seen one of the great palaces of the world that is most definitely closed to the public.

The other significant palace not to have been destroyed is the Asif Jahi Chomahalla. It has just opened to the public after 5 pain-staking years of restoration. It has to be said it is a pretty impressive place, which is just as well, as we had to speak to most of the residents in Hyderabad to find out where it was.

We were sold tickets numbered 101 and 102, so we weren't part of the lucky first 100 who could walk around without being stalked and told what to do by security guards.

The Belgian crystal chandeliers inside are something else and the decor and throne elude to how grand this dynasty was.

We wandered around town to check out some of the locals doing local stuff. These guys are welding statues. We think that they don't see too many gringos, and thought we were the funniest things to happen to them for weeks. Everyone else wanted to pose for photos in front of their shops without giving us the "you buy now" tourist crap.

The Char Minar is the symbol of Hyderabad. If we could of beaten our way through the blockade of beggars and convinced ourselves that paying 20 times as much to enter as Indians pay, we might of been able to tell you of the magnificent view from the top, that we never saw.

The locals here are pretty cool though. We took so many photos of random people who would just come and ask for photos.